I
learned something from Come Dine with Me the other day (no, really).
Apparently,
Merseyside has one of the highest numbers of unmarried people in the UK. I know
- what's the marriage status of the North East got to do with a bunch of idiots
terrorising other idiots in their own homes? To put into some context, this was
Couples Come Dine...I'm assuming
that's why they chose to throw this fact in, rather than just some random Liverpool
bashing from Channel 4.
Bashing
- now, there's me and my defensive knee-jerk reaction to the subject of
marriage, or rather not-marriage, rearing its ugly head. After years of social
conditioning I now instinctively assume that when the subject is raised, it is usually
done so negatively. Or confusedly, at least.
As
I find myself now, in a) my thirties b) a happy long-term relationship with The
One (I apologise) and c) not married or wanting-to-be-married-ever-REALLY, I am
finding it ever more the case.
“What,
you don’t want to get married? Oh, you’ll probably feel differently in a few
years time.”
Why?
It’s easier to assume I don’t know my own mind, rather than accept I choose not
to marry. This seems to me to be a socially acceptable form of condescension.
With
all this in mind, the actual statistics really surprised me. The 2011 census revealed 51% of people have never married, or
are divorced or widowed.
According
to a piece in The Daily Mail (apologies for this, my second slightly dubious
source), the
Office for National Statistics said the changes “were the result of declining
numbers of people making it up the aisle since the 1970s, and changing social
attitudes towards people who co-habit or live alone.”
Maybe I just knock around with old
fogey traditionalists (I don’t), but my social experiences just don’t match
this picture.
Despite it
being 2014, and despite being a 'grown woman' (of sorts), I still find myself
embarking on conversations with total strangers where I feel the need to
justify my decision not to get married. I
can very much relate to those horrendous dinner party scenarios in Bridget
Jones’s Diary. Women in particular just don’t get it, I’ve found. I get shot a
look, like I’ve suddenly grown two heads and one of them is going to try and
seduce their husband or something.
What’s going on?
Don’t get
me wrong, this isn’t a big moan (ok, it is a bit). I can certainly understand why people want to
get married. But I find it curious, the social taboos that still seem to
operate in modern society, despite the very real facts of changing marriage
trends.
I wonder,
is this just me? It wouldn’t be the first time.
Or, does
this strike a chord with other women?
As
a jolly aside, wasn’t it a whole lot better when Come Dine With Me was
sponsored by Blossom Hill wine? Glorious sun drenched alfresco scenes, women
frolicking around (clearly not talking about not-marriage) in pastels, a bit of
Camera Obscura playing. To replace it with dishwasher tablets…why? Is this
another comment on the recommended domestic lives of viewers?
On
that topic, get ready for my next post on the subject binge drinking. All the
big hitters!
Bye
Gemma
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